Did You Just Call Me Fatso?

About two months ago I enlisted the help of Dear Husband in my efforts to lose baby weight. I think the other two times I carried baby weight I didn’t really think much of it, I knew I was going to have another kid and be back in stretchy pants sometime in the near future. Now I know that I am going to be in shorts and a bathing suit in the near future, baby weight isn’t feeling so okay at the moment.

 I had this horrible habit of getting up and eating snacks, lots of times I didn’t even remember doing it. When I woke up one morning to find that I ate THREE cupcakes I decided it just had to stop. (As a side note, these were not just any cupcakes they were Bake N Cake cupcakes, any person even in their AWAKE mind would eat three if given the opportunity.) I gave clear instructions to Bo that if he heard me get up, followed by the sound of candy wrappers to firmly tell me to go back to bed. 

For two weeks now Bo has had to listen to me occasionally (daily) complain about how this is stupid and I hate the scale. He knows I am getting uber-frustrated and disappointed. 

Tonight I was on the computer and Bo asks “What are you eating?”

Me: Special K snack cracker chips.

Bo: Are they low calorie or something?

Me: Yes, I can eat 38 for 110 calories (I really did know and say that!). Why?

Bo:  Oh, because you are like going to town on them.

Me: (Smile) Thanks for looking out for me babe! Want one?

Now my normal mind knows that I asked Bo to help me and that is exactly what he was doing. But this is the conversation my female mind heard:

Bo: OMG you are EATING something AGAIN. What is it this time, an entire chocolate cake?

Me: (sheepish) I’m hungry. I had half a piece (because Kinsley stole the other half) of fish and a salad for dinner. I am just eating these salted pieces of card-board. Are you calling me a fat ass?

Bo: You are pigging out on your salted pieces of cardboard. Are you sure you are eating 38 and not ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-EIGHT.

Me: Shut your trap. Do you want to try this and see how much they DON’T taste like regular chips?

Thank goodness we don’t all say what we think! It doesn’t really matter, I know he is thinking “I love you just the way you are.” Well he’s thinking about that, or looking at me and trying to imagine [insert hot actress’s name.]