I made the insane mistake of watching “Paranormal Activity.” I am referring to the first Paranormal Activity, I can’t even stand watching the previews for the second one. Outside of our bedroom door is the entrance to the attic, one glance up and I am in the fetal position saying the rosary. Oh no, this is not an exaggeration. I also won’t go down basement stairs that don’t have backs on them because I am convinced there is someone hiding under there, ready to snatch at my ankles and pull me into their deep, dark evil depths.
Well every parent knows that most toys have motion sensors so that you sneeze on the 2nd floor and a toy in the basement feels the vibrations and goes off (it’s totally a conspiracy between the battery company and toy manufacturers.) When the batteries are running low the toys tend to become a little hyper and go off on their own. Well I try to convince myself that it is the batteries and not the ghosts who swoop around at night playing with the Weeble house and fire trucks. There are, however, a few toys that make this “think happy thoughts” a little more difficult.
The first time Bo saw FurReal Kitty, he’s eyes bulged out of his head and he said “Woooo. Pet Cemetery.” I’ve never actually seen this movie, but I am pretty sure this description of fur real was dead on. (Haha, Dead.On. Didn’t even mean that one!) It seriously looks like someone took their cat to a taxidermist to have Fluffy forever preserved. But it gets better.
FurReal Kitty has a motion sensor. This means that the freaky life-like/death-like cat will be left sitting on the couch, when you walk by its eyes fly open and MEOW. Tell me that won’t scare the begee’s out of you at 3am when you are on your way to sneak a cookie. That’s one dieters tip!
I’ve told Kinsley that her meow meow likes it best in her bedroom. Meow meow has also had been spayed and had her batteries removed.
Zhu Zhu is actually a toy gerbil, but Kinsley has a love for cat’s so my Mom bought it for her to pass off as a toy cat. (Toy cat’s are actually hard to find. I am sure the reasoning being the whole pet cemetery thing.)
Amazon says that you can push a button on its back and hear it chatter. What Amazon SHOULD say is, accidentally bump the ZhuZhu and it will make chirping noises for up to 5 minutes. Remain absolutely still and hold your breath during this time, the slightest shift in atmospheric molecules will get ZhuZhu starting his chatter all over again. It is likely that during this time, Kinsley will be awakened and start crying for “Kitty! Kittty!” You now face two choices:
- Listen to Kinsley cry in desperation for ZhuZhu and remain awake and wide-eyed listening to make sure she is indeed safe.
- Take ZhuZhu to her by running as quickly as you can down the hall, before the attic hatch opens, kiss her on the head, and run back to bed where all is safe. At this point she will stop crying and ZhuZhu will sporadically chatter throughout the night calling to all of his hamster friends to hide under your bed ready to attack if you should have to pee during the night.
Doesn’t that sound restful?
The Circus Truck:
Guess what noise circus trucks make? That freaky-deaky circus song that makes you think a big killer clown is hiding behind your shower curtain. Here is another toy that has had the batteries removed but the difference being, the batteries were taken out for Greyson’s benefit.
There *may* have been a little incident when Greyson was about two years old in which we were sitting on the couch watching Monsters Inc. It was at the opening scene where all is quiet and dark, the monster tip-toes into the room and…I gave Greyson a squeeze and said “ohh scarry.” He *may* have started bawling his little two year old eyes out.
A day later, he was playing with the circus truck de-dee-deedle-deedle killer clown coming to get you, and then an elephant roar noise—bawling two year old.
So what does our good friend Andrew and Bo do? Keeps pushing the button over and over to see if the cause and affect relationship stays consistent. I had to take the batteries out of the toy so two grown mean would stop terrorizing Greyson (I *may* have had some guilt hangover regarding the whole Monsters Inc. moment the day before that *may* have been linked to the crying over the elephant noise.)
I’m not exactly crying that the killer clown song is gone. If you don’t play the song, they stay hidden behind the shower curtain until morning. Everyone knows killer clowns can’t come after you in daylight. Duh.