I'm Mad. And I Mean It!

Dear McDonalds,

I think you are stupid. When I order a CHILD size milk shake, that should clue you in that I am indeed ordering it for a child. I can accept the fact you do not carry child size at that particular location and will gladly take a small for my child.

You kindly ask, would I like whipped cream and a cherry on top? How very gourmet this drive through business has become. But instead of the “Ohh how yum!” you were expecting, I inquire—does it still have a top on it? Yes it does, perfect.

I have provided two very large clues as to what I am looking for:

• Child Size
• Lid

I think my expectations would be clear. So can you please explain why you would not think to mention that you are giving me a lid that has a whole the size of a quarter with whip cream oozing out of the top?!

Instead of this letter I should have called you when the freezing cold milkshake went straight down my kids shirt and made him scream like someone was sawing off his arm. I am pretty sure there was a question reagarding this on my drivers test.

What to do when your child is screaming their brains out and you are driving the car?

A) Madly swerve while trying to crane your head to see what in the world is going on.

B) Madly swerve while trying to look in your rearview mirror to see what in the world is going on.

C) Madly swerve while you yelp with fear, what in the world is going on?

D) All of the above

McDonalds, I felt a second inclination to call you when I went to retrieve my kids from their car seats and they along with all of their winter wear was covered in sticky gooiness.

But really, the moment that I started cursing you and your stupid lid with giant hole was when I realized that not only did I have to endure all of the above, but also had to take apart, wash, and put back together TWO carseats that require a P.E. to figure out.

In case I have not been clear, we are in a fight. Even the fact that Kinsley has renamed her baby doll “Baby Chicken McNugget” is not enticing me to forgive you. I will stay mad at you for a very, very, very, long time, or until I need your services as a bribe/reward/emergency feeding situation.

Sincerely,

Elyse