My kids jabber jaws all day long. They are little me’s, non stop blah blah blah. I am so used to what they are saying and understanding their little toddler language that I know that they asking for fish crackers and not flap happers. Still there are times that they say something that totally snaps me out of my half ear zone and makes me think what the…?
Kinsley: Mommy I want to do a crap.
Me: WHAT?
Kinsley: I want to do a crap. With glue. I want crap with glue.
Me: Okay, we can do a cra-F-T afer lunch.
Greyson: Where is my space shit?
Me: On the moon?
Greyson: No. My space shit can’t fly to the moon without me.
Me: That’s true.
Greyson: Me and the astronauts want to fly in the space shit.
Greyson: Mom, will you hang my coat up on the hooker?
Me: We don’t have any hookers in our house.
Greyson: The hooker, in the closet.
Me: Hmmmm…who put the hooker in the closet?
Greyson: Daddy. He put the hooker there with the screwdriver. It’s on the door.
Me: Oh look. There is a hook THERE.
Kinsley: I want some pot.
Me: No POP is for grown ups only. So is pot. You can’t have that either.
Greyson: Mom do you have stupid powers.
Me: No just daddy has stupid powers. Mommy has SUPER powers.
Greyson: The lepers came and turned the milk green.
Me: Oh look the LEPRECHANS did make the milk green! Happy St. Patty’s Day!
Me: What does the big bad wolf do then?
Greyson: He pusses and pusses and blows the house down.
Me: It’s no wonder that little pig didn’t want to let him in.
Kinsley: I want to go suck her.
Me: Hmmmm…
Kinsley: I want to go suck her.
Me: Hmmmm…
Kinsley: MOM. I WANT TO GO TO SUCK HER. AND KICK BALL.
Me: Ohhh SOCCER!!! Yes, we go to SOC-CER on Thursday.
When my husband was little (3 or 4), he saw pink balloons tied to a mailbox and said, "They had a baby girl in that house." My mother-in-law asked, "How do you know." He replied, "The balloons. B is for Boy and Blue. P is for Pink and P*SSY." My mother-in-law said it took everything in her to remain calm and keep driving as if nothing happened.
ReplyDeleteOMG Melissa that is hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of my little brother not being able to say his tr's when he was little. So truck was f*ck. This was huge fun for my older brother & I & all our friends as it would be for any teenager. 'Drew, what is that?' 'My Big Bird Fire F*uck!!' or 'My Elmo Dumb F*ck' (supposed to be dump truck). Hours of entertainment.
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