The Lack of a Helping Hand

Do you ever NOT want your kids to do something for themselves? Not because it wouldn’t be good for them, or even that you don’t want them to know how, but simply because you just want to hurry up and do it yourself? 

I realize this makes me sound horribly mean and lazy, but I am pretty sure there is not one parent out there that hasn’t stood clenching their teeth while their kid tries to wiggle into their own socks when you are already 10 minutes late for a doctors appointment. For me, this is the biggest test of a parents patience. 

Kinsley is my “I do it myself” child. I don’t know if it is a girl thing, a second child thing or just a Kinsley thing but absolutely everything she must do herself.

She is committed to changing her clothes at least 3 times a day. This is not an issue for me at all. Rock on with your fashionista self girl! She loves, loves, loves clothes. She loves folding them (or rolling them in a ball) putting them in her dresser, pulling them out of her dresser, carrying them around the house, and of course wearing them. (Don’t worry, I am not ruining the planet by doing excessive amounts of laundry. I don’t put each change of  clothes in the laundry, I do an inspection to determine clean, clean enough or dirty.)

Like I said, changing her clothes over and over no issue. Picking out ridiculous ensembles, again no issue. Even having to repeatedly pick up all of the discarded clothes no issue. The issue lies in the “I do it.” 

Kinsley is INSISTENT on getting herself dressed. If you are even thinking for a nanosecond, why don’t you just tell her no and do it yourself? Then clearly you do not know my daughter or the stubborn gene that I have passed down to her. To OFFER help would be to ask for a complete and total tantrum of monumental proportions. “I do it. I do it. Self. Self. No. No. No.” 

If you dare to tackle her (pardon me, I mean tackle like gingerly holding her on your lap and cooing “let mommy help you darling.”) and manage to hold (hug) her long enough (5-10 minutes) to get her dressed (in the chosen panda bear pants, butterfly shirt and light up tutu) then she will start struggle to free herself from the clothes that have been tarnished by your touch and start the process all over again.

This can go on the entire morning. Generally the process begins again after nap time. So instead of tackling (hugging) her I patiently sit there while she again puts two legs in one pant hole and shoves her arm through the neck of her shirt.

Then comes the pay off—the beaming smile from a two year old who believes she did it all herself. For a moment I feel like I am such a great mom for just sitting and encouraging her, ever so softly putting forth a guiding touch...then she see's the kitty pant, looks down at the panda pants, pulls the kitty pants out of the drawer and I just walk out of the room.