Sorry Boss, It's Too Crunchy Out Today.

I am really not a person for excuses. Just say the truth without finding a reason for it to be or not to be and then move forward. My kids are great at making excuses. They may be considering it as a profession.

Kinsley is less creative in her excuses and just says “No” in true 2 year old fashion.  But she is a quick learn and has started telling me that she can’t, it’s too hard. It doesn’t matter what it is. I could be asking her to go get herself a piece of chocolate and she just can’t, it’s too hard.

Greyson has advanced his skills to include theatrics with his excuse making. “I can’t pick up my toys. I can’t reach them.”  He will stand there reaching his hand out into the air just to show me that no he actually can’t reach the toys that need to be picked up.

Mom solution: Move your feet.

Lately, there is one excuse that seems to work for everything. Crunchy. Like the type of peanut butter. Crunchy.

Do you know that he can’t go potty because it is too crunchy? He also may need to take a bath in the middle of the day, not because he is infatuated with Kinsley’s birthday present that is a water spout, but because his tummy is feeling crunchy? His shirt too. He needs a new one. Also, it may be hard to be a good listener and put something in the trash can when asked because the floor (that I vacuum obsessively so don’t go thinking this has any merit) is too crunchy.

The greatest number of excuses involve sleeping. Sometimes it is just so hard for him to fall asleep. There could be any number of things preventing him from sleeping:

“It’s too sunny outside for me to sleep.”

Mom solution: Close your eyes. Eyes closed are better for sleeping and keeps the sun out.

“It’s too dark in my room to sleep.”

Mom solution: Close your eyes. Again, eyes closed are better for sleeping and then everything is dark anyway.

“I need another book. I am tired of reading this one.”

Mom solution: If you are tired, then you should just go to sleep. Going to sleep helps with being tired.

“My feet are too smelly for me to sleep.”

Mom solution: Stop smelling your feet. Put your head on your pillow and go to sleep.

So today, if you are one of the fortunate people who were are able to shower, get dressed, drive in a car that is not have “Ring Around the Rosie” on repeat in the CD Player, but you just don’t feel like working…just tell your boss that project is just too  crunchy. If she asks for clarification, simply repeat. It’s too crunchy out today. Sorry, I would really like to get those financials to you but the air is too crunchy. No I did not say that I am IN a crunch, I said it's TOO CRUNCHY. Duh, don't you listen? Maybe after lunch.